If your parents are too involved in your sport, they can make your life miserable, kill your enjoyment and absolutely ruin your athletic performance. Pushy parents can cause choking and other performance problems, and turn you into a sports dropout statistic. While many over-involved parents mean well and may tell you that they are doing all this for you, the fact of the matter is that they have lost perspective on your sport and are responding to their own needs and feelings. While you need your parents’ love and support to become successful, it will be almost impossible for you to reach your athletic dreams with parents who are over-involved. A parent’s major role on your “team”, (parent, athlete, coach) is to be unconditionally supportive. That is, to love and support you regardless of how you perform. Winning parents are their kids “best fans.” They are there for you no matter what the outcome. Take the following questionnaire to find out whether you have winning parents:

Answer each question with a 1, 2, 3, or 4: 1 = never true; 2 = occasionally true; 3 = mostly true; 4 = always true.

1) My parents make it easy for me to really enjoy my sport.

2) I love having my parents come to my competitions.

3) I don’t feel any pressure from my parents when I compete.

4) My parent(s) doesn’t tell me what I did wrong after I perform.

5) I never worry about disappointing my mom/dad.

6) My parent(s) spends time with me before I compete getting me ready.

7) My parent(s) pushes me to practice and train.

8) I fight with my parent(s) about my sport.

9) My parent(s) comes to all my practices.

10) When I work with my coach my parents make sure to tell me what I’m doing wrong.

11) My parents get upset with me when I lose or play badly.

12) When it comes to my sport, my parents just want me to be happy.

13) After my games my parents won’t leave me alone and insist on going over and over what happened.

14) I think about quitting my sport.

15) My parents criticize the coach and his/her decisions.

16) After I mess up I worry about what my parents are thinking.

17) My parents are my very best fans.

18) My parents let me take full responsibility for my sport.

19) My parent(s) compares me to my teammates and opponents.

20) I am embarrassed by what my parents say to me, the coaches and/or refs.

21) My parents think it’s their job to motivate me.

22) When I fail my parents are supportive and don’t criticize me.

23) As far as my sport goes, my parents need to get their own life.

24) Even though I don’t ask them to, my parent(s) keeps statistics/log book of my performances and outcomes.

25) I feel nervous when my parents watch me.

SCORING

Subtract the scores for questions 1 - 5, 12, 17, 18 & 22: (if you answered question #1 with an “always true”, the point total you’d subtract would be a 4.) Add the scores for the remaining questions: (If you answered mostly true for question #14, the point total you’d add would be a 3.)

INTERPRETATION

The lower the score, the more supportive are your parents. If you scored your parents between a:

55 - 46 = VERY non-supportive, destructive-to-your-sport (Parents who have a significant problem and are totally living out their own life through your sports.)

45 - 30 = Generally Non-supportive and pushy parents. Will not help you reach your athletic dreams because of their misguided efforts to “help.”

29 - 14 = Educable, well meaning, although somewhat inconsistent in their support. Sometimes can be helpful, but more often aren’t.

13 - 0 = VERY supportive, positive parents. Doing almost everything right for you. Have your sport in perspective. Be grateful to them!

1 - 20 = WINNING PARENTS, Clone them! The best. Olympic caliber parents!