In Coaching: Good/Bad/Unfair, Parents' Role in Youth Sports, Problems in Youth Sports

Yes, I’ll admit to being the head coach of this 13 year old girls’ team and might I add, I’m proud to say that I think I’m a really good one! Sure, I’ll acknowledge that my daughter is on the team along with your child. I certainly don’t see anything wrong with coaching your own daughter. Do you?! Let me also add that my girl’s certainly good enough to play, don’t you think?! Yes, of course I’ll concede that your daughter is a pretty good player herself.

Sure, I’ve heard other coaches talking about how your daughter is one of the top players in the league. I’ll even openly admit that as well! But you know, my girl is pretty darn good too, maybe even almost as good as yours! Yup, I’m aware that your daughter has won numerous awards through her school and the premier league that she plays on. Sure I know that she gets player of the game in nearly every tournament that she competes in. But, hey, my daughter’s pretty good herself, ya’know! She should be winning some of those awards as well. Maybe the decision makers don’t really get an accurate picture here? Maybe they just aren’t seeing as clearly as they need to or perhaps they’re just not that fair to my daughter?

I’ve been told that the coach of our team’s biggest rival once came over to your daughter after we won the championship last year and told her that he uses her as an example to his players. Sure, I heard what he said about how well she plays, her dedication, sportsmanship and work ethic. Yeah, yeah, I know she’s good, but what I can’t understand is why didn’t this coach say anything about my girl?!!! She played really well in that big game too, y’know! See, here’s the thing: I am terribly jealous of your daughter, the player that she is and all of the attention that she gets. But, I’d never tell you or anyone else this because, as the coach, it’s totally inappropriate for me to feel this way!

So I’m sure by now you’ve noticed that my girl is the one who’s starting and yours is riding the bench. Yes, I know that I’ve already admitted that your daughter is one of the best players in the league! Well, I know that’s a hard one to clearly explain, except that my girl is really a pretty good player and I think she deserves her due without the distraction that your daughter poses. Of course, I could never directly tell you or anyone else this either because it’s blatantly unfair and goes counter to my PROPER role as the coach of the WHOLE team. Not to mention that this behavior of mine as a “coach” is totally inappropriate and distinguishes me as a really terrible coach and less than stellar person! That one, I’d never even admit to myself!

Yeah, I know that when the U-15 coach came to watch your daughter play when he was in the process of choosing players for next year, I never put your girl in the game. Well, you see that’s because my daughter really needed a fair chance to showcase her skills. The problem is that when your daughter is playing, it’s never fair! But of course I can never really openly tell you that because I just don’t think you’d really understand it from MY viewpoint! Then again, if I admitted that I purposely did that, it would highlight my selfishness and immaturity as a person and my extreme pettiness. That stuff I make a point of hiding from everyone, including myself!

But let me tell you something that really ticked me off about you and your daughter. When you appropriately approached me after this game and in a nice way, asked me what your daughter could do to get more playing time, that just fried my butt! HOW DARE YOU?! Just who do you think you are questioning my judgment and decision-making as THE COACH?!

I wouldn’t ever tell you this, nor could I even admit it to myself, but that show of righteous indignation comes from my embarrassment at getting called on my inappropriate behaviors. My anger and outrage is merely just a smoke screen so I won’t have to deal with the real problem here which is ME!

So my feelings are that if you don’t like what’s going on here with your daughter, you can just leave and go find your own team to coach because this one’s mine!


Start typing and press Enter to search