In Cheating

I am sick and tired of being ripped off by the drug companies with their sickeningly high costs for prescription meds. After hearing what those robbers are charging my favorite buddy, LA Dodgers superstar Manny Ramirez, I’m HOPPING MAD! Manny had to pay $7.7 million dollars for his prescription drug, “not a steroid or performance enhancing drug” that was recently prescribed by his doctor for a “personal health issue!”

Enough is enough! $7.7 million dollars just to fill a lousy prescription! What’s the world coming to? Do we ever need universal health care now or what? What’s a Manny to do? Unfortunately Manny’s “doctor” just so happened to prescribe a substance that was in the group of medications explicitly banned by Major League Baseball.

It seems that Ramirez’s “personal health issue” was related to his sexual drive, or lack thereof, and the banned substance that he took, according to an ESPN source was Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, a women’s fertility drug that is often used by steroid users to restart their body’s testosterone production after a steroid cycle. This is a similar drug to the ones used by Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi and all those other “notable” and “play-by-the-rules” athlete-clients of BALCO.

So Manny’s health issue has resulted in a 50 games suspension by MLB. I guess we really can’t blame the drug companies for this one. Ramirez won’t be back on the field until July 3rd. The cost to Manny for being Manny? A paltry $7.7 million!

But hey! Manny wasn’t using baseball performance enhancing drugs! Cut the man some slack! It’s all just a simple misunderstanding. You’ll see. He’ll prove it! Surely Manny won’t be like Bonds, A-Rod, Sosa, McGuire, Clemens and all of the rest of our fallen baseball super heroes who were deliberately cheating and then lying about it. An honest mistake. He just didn’t know that his meds were banned. It was a mistake that any person of integrity could make. After all, as a professional ball player, he has so many things on his plate. It makes sense that a few “minor” things might slip by him.

So one lingering question: If it was a harmless, honest mistake, how come Ramirez isn’t challenging the suspension?


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